Ever since I was a child, I always hide the crybaby in me. I thought it’s a sign of weakness and I don’t want people to see me as such. Whenever I cry, I run as fast as I can and locked myself into my room. Or, go rush into bathroom and immediately switch the faucet, so they won’t hear me cry. Hehe!
But for the past years, I was able to realized something. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness nor a shameful act. As my sister stated in her own blog post, ..“Crying does not mean you are weak, it only means that you are human who confidently shares and releases emotions, who gets hurt sometimes and who needs others to survive.”.. The time when I realized this, I was more than open to cry in front of a lot of people than anybody else. I cry over movies. I cry over telanobelas. I cry over small sweet acts. I cry over my food cravings. I cry whenever I miss my family. I cry when I’m stressed. I cry when I am heartbroken. I cry over anything that touched my heart, even in the most simplest way. It even came to a point wherein my family and boyfriend would laugh at me when I cry over stupid things and would label me as ‘mababaw’ and ‘iyakin’. And yet, it didn’t bother me at all. All I know is, I am expressing what I am feeling at the moment and I should not let anybody tell me how should I feel nor how should I express it. I will cry whenever I want to and everyone can laugh their asses out and I will not fucking care at all. :)
So… why am I talking about crying? Simply because, I just cried a few minutes ago. LOL! Two reasons why I cried tonight, the first reason is my boyfriend. We didn’t fight okay, his undeniable excitement every Wednesdays and Saturdays made me jealous and thought of unpleasant scenarios. Talk about paranoia huh.. During those days, he’ll go out with his friends and always come home late and obviously I don’t admire the latter part. It just makes me worry about him. *Sigh* Though, I already told him about these a lot of times. :(
Second reason is because of my sisters — who both currently live in Singapore with their husbands. My second eldest sister posted a blog entry a few hours ago, stating there all of her experiences in her few months stay in the said country. It just made me realized how much I am missing my sisters. I was very emotional and crying all over while reading it, it was sort of, hmm, I should say ‘mixed emotions’. I was happy for her because though she had lot of bad experiences there, she never let it in her way and stayed positive all through out the journey. It was such a relief that finally, she had let all those emotions out of her system. She was kinda brave to do that, she just exposed one of her embarrassing moments to everyone.Hehe! And of course, as any sister would be, I am proud of her. I am proud of them, actually. ..Of what they have achieved in their life and of the difficulties they had surpassed. And it just made me even sadder that I was not able to be with them physically while they were going through those problems. I may not be there physically, nor I was expressive of my support and love to them, but God knows that I always pray for them and ask Him to guide them with their every step. I just miss them so much, the bullying and kakikayan stuff, that special bond that you can only have with your sisters. Priceless.
Happily Ever After 